Leave of absence

I don't know if it was musical differences or something else, but since 12 April I've not posted and done precious little musicianship prep and I feel ashamed. But I'm motivated to start again, motivated by a natty little website that I stumbled across this afternoon. I'm afraid that this will be a short post, since I've got to leave to play football in about 15 minutes, but in the meantime, prior to my next bag o' words, I'd encourage you to visit Club 2, perhaps the web's foremost spot for online Flash based karaoke.

This website taught me that I need to sing. As the aborigines said "you got lens cap on". But they also said "man got pipes, man must use pipes for good of aborigines and mankind as whole". Is it my destiny? Only time will tell. But I've got my mojo back and very soon I'll be playing palsied songs of heartbreak and laughter to small audiences throughout the west of scotland.

I'm back. But were you ever here at all?

Choice of Name

So, lately I've been giving some thought to the name under which I'll be releasing records. My thinking stems from a concern I have that my real name (Andrew McHugh) isn't very exciting. I also think I would like to be in a band, rather than simply be a solo artist, and be able to immerse myself in that kind of last gang in town mentality that you often read about in books about bands. Talking of which, my favourite rock n roll book ever is "Please Kill Me" by Legs McNeill. Check it out if you like books and music.

I want to use this post as a kind of scratchpad for ideas for my band name, that I can share with you and hopefully if anyone feels inclined to do so they can comment on whether or not they think they're any use. I already started this on a post somewhere below, but consider this the official brainstorming session. Feel free to suggest what I should be called if you would like to do so.

1. The Meat Counter (my original idea, stemming from a decision to call myself after the best named shop on dumbarton road, a competition which this local butchers shop won. it would be easy to have gimmicks associated with it. Can you imagine a packed out madision square gardens crowd counting along in unison as I threw a variety of meat products into the sweaty throng? Would be excellent I think).
2. Aesop (this is kind of my chosen hip hop name. It's based around the fact that the chap Aesop told stories (he called them fables) and i'd kind of be an urban story teller, as well as the fact that in street parlance one might say "Ay 'supp?", meaning "Hello, what's cooking?". I also like the way that it rhymes with furry cup which might be a catchy albeit parental advisory lyric in one of my more risque lps).
3. To be continued...

Tools of the Trade
I'd also like to take this opportunity to talk to some of my guitar playing audience about the various axes I've managed to accumulate. From an initial starting point where all i had available was a Guitar hero II SG Controller, I've now got access to some three guitars, virtually a collection. Photos will be added, but for now, here's some textual descriptions...

Acoustic (made by a mysterious company called 'Ranger'): A six (steel) string acoustic guitar this is the one that belongs to my brother, which i have taken on permanent loan. [Actually, a word to my brother, who sustained nasty ligament tearage while playing football with me on Saturday, get well soon!] Anyway, this guitar is quite good, and I think as I grow up as a player I will develop an increasing fondness for it. However, at the moment its neck is quite narrow and its strings are all coming at me like cheese-wire on my fingers, so it's difficult to play. But when i'm ace I'll probably sleep alongside it or something. This is my first real six string. Although I didn't buy it at the 5 and dime. Whatever that is.

Classical (made by a company I've heard of called Hohner i believe): This is also a six string, but with three nylon strings. It's considerably less streamlined than the acoustic, but I think maybe better made. It's got a nice fat neck for big hands and the strings are less sore cos they're not steel. Good for learning! (I hope). This guitar belongs to my friend Laura who has no time for music now that she has her little bairn Michael to look after. I will therefore be stealing this guitar and passing it off as my own. Laura is also the owner of the four-track recording studio what-sit that I'll get running very soon in the interests of letting you hear my work so far.

Electric: I've not seen this guitar yet, and I don't know who makes it or even what colour it is, but Adam has offered to lend me it (it belongs to him I think, he's not just passing on stolen goods) in order to facilitate the achievement of my endeavour. He says it's much easier to learn on the electric because you can just make a bunch of noise and people assume you mean it. Which sounds like a reasonable philosophy, but perhaps not one to implement prior to learning the very basics. So expect a Dylan-esque judas moment sometime in the next couple of months where i go electric and cos immediate schisms across the entire musical landscape. Looking forward to making distortion happen with this.

So I've been lucky to have been well positioned to steal and be offered such varied guitar access. I also know someone with a ukelele, although if the acoustic neck seems a little cramped I think the formby special would be like lilliput to my big gulliver digits. They'll become increasingly svelte and nimble over time though I'm sure.

Latest News

Firstly, let me apologise for not posting for several days (assuming that there's anyone there to apologise to). I have been a combination of both quite busy and quite lazy, which although sounding rather oxymoronical, reflects rather well my status, and probably is quite representative of my mission. Why's that? Well, most artists you see interviewed on things like Popworld such as Girls Aloud or Lemar are always giving it "oh we're so busy, with touring and whatnot". But conversely, I've heard all kind of accounts of life on tour as being a couple of hours for the gig with the rest of the time spent waiting around, doing nothing. So it's like being both busy and lazy at the same time. Well. Perhaps.

So, my busy-ness has been wide-ranging and oh-so-much-fun. I've been trying to get some chords going, but it's a little more difficult than perhaps my bullish initial attitude was prepared for. Spurred on by my friend Adam and by the wisdom inherent in my Complete Guitar Player book, I've been developing my first chord, but I remain inconsistent. I've christened it the "Leah Betts" because it's such a bad E. Here's what it looks like for tab' fans:



But like I say, I'm continuing to refine it and haven't quite worked out how to make it sound clean, nor have I got the recording nous to enable you folks to hear it. Nevertheless, this will all change soon, and I hope to be putting up examples of my art in the very near future. Watch this space. I really have to commit more time to getting better. I confess that I haven't done as much in this area as I would have liked to.

Anyway, I've also been busy in other aspects of my life. However, it seems that since commencing my adventure I've increasingly began to expose every aspect of my behaviour to some kind of rock microscope, to determine its appropriateness for an aspiring pop artist. For instance, I went home the other day and played golf with my dad. Golf?! I hear you exclaim. Well, given the fondness for golf that has been displayed by both Alice Cooper and Meatloaf in recent television specials, I have little doubt of golf's credentials as #1 game for the older theatrical rocker; if i could sidle into that genre one day I'd be pleased as punch. I understand that terminal mid 90s Dave Lee Travis favourites hootie and the blowfish are also big fans of golf. I don't quite know what that means. For those interested in the game I played ok, having not played at all for about a year. The final score was a draw, leaving me and my old man both contented.

In other sports news I played squash earlier this week but I have never heard of any musician living or dead who has played this game. The closest I can think of is the Smashing Pumpkins, but that isn't very funny. Check out the vid below though, which is weird. As it goes on them butternut squashes develop an ever-more phallic personality.

Quiz for Proper Guitar Slingers

Not so much a quiz as a question.

One of my hands is noticeably larger than the other. I want to know if this is a blessing or a curse. If you wanted to play the guitar right handed, would you prefer a larger left or right hand?

Answers in the comments field please. The first to respond gets to see my natty digits up close.

It's All About the Music... But Is It Really?

In the last wee while it's occurred to me that the attainment of even a brief comet like existence in the world of pop stardom, might take more than a snappy tune and a friendly grin. So I've become increasingly aware of the additional lifestyle choices that I'm going to have to make to facilitate my efforts. Looks are now so important for instance. I don't think Karel Fialka could have a hit single in 2007. Check out the back cover of his smash "Hey Matthew" from 20 years ago.

"Hey Matthew what do you see" asks Karel. The fear in the child's eyes doesn't stem from repeated viewings of the A-Team however I suspect. There's an almost audible zipping sound as Karel's flies are uncoupled with a concealed left hand. Hey Matthew, use your spidey sense before his sex offense!

Looks are important in today's pop. And I've been letting myself go a little lately so therefore I'm taking some active steps, primarily in the interests of achieving pop success.

In the interests of toning up I'm banning all red meat from my diet. Red meat is what gets me the most. Not the desirable, expensive and generally regarded as pleasant meat like steaks and chops however. No, my tastes in this regard could be described as quite Dick Emery. As in "ooh, you are offal, but I like you". There's smack in them thar' Scotch Eggs. And undoubtedly similarly addictive constituents within sausage rolls, pork pies and pretty much every Greggs product.

So that's all going to go. But I also have to work the body too, and therefore I'll be hitting the gym with reasonable regularity and continue to play football twice or maybe thrice a week. That will be useful too should I become a regional, national or international star, enabling me to participate with vim and vigour in the event of any charity celebrity soccer match. Exchanging one-twos with Harvey off of So solid, megging fannybaws out of two pints of lager and a packet of crisps and finally slamming home despite Ben Shepherd's last ditch lungbursting run and attempted tackle.

I also have some body shop for men face scrub so my pores should be clean and all that jazz, which is important.

I was also thinking it might be beneficial to adopt (or perhaps feign) interest in some kind of eastern spiritualism. It might be that such a course is more appropriate for after the second album, but look at Kula Shaker. Actually, good point, look at Kula Shaker. I wonder what happened to the Jeevas. I think they failed because they neglected to acknowledge the mystical historical significance of the letter K. The Keevas would have enjoyed considerably more success I bet. That name reminds me of Kevin Keegan a wee bit too, which would probably translate to good record sales in the North East of England, where apparently he is still revered to this day.

I think that dropping red meat is also probably quite compatible with many eastern spiritual philosophies. It's important to have all the bits and bobs pulling in the same direction.

Got 9 Months to Go

It's the start of April and I'm happy to say that my goals for March were pretty much realised. The key thing was to work out how to tune a guitar. By referring to a couple of web sites and my book, the complete guitar player, I was able to do so, and now I can no longer blame my axe when it all sounds shit. I can't really get the Low E correct without a reference point, but I totally get all the relative tuning stuff. Which is ace. For those of you who don't know how to do all this, and wish to learn with me, here's a short insight:

1. Firstly, get your guitar in your hands and count the strings. This tutorial requires that there are 6 (six). Some guitars have twelve I think (sometimes on two necks which is quite fetching) and banjos have five. Or four and a half maybe. But this is certainly for 6 (six) stringed guitars.
2. If you have a piano or other guitar already in tune you'll already have access to a reference note. Otherwise, do a google search for "Online Guitar Tuner" or something like that. I don't want to endorse one site over any other, but I used guitarforbeginners.com. This gives you your starting point for tuning your instrument. Like making yoghurt I don't know how to tune without a little bit of tuning already done. Leave this website running and sit somewhere where you can reach your mouse (or other pointing device) and also hear your computer's speakers. What's that, you're deaf?
   
3. So, pick up your guitar with the fat bit (the 'body') on the right and the pegs (the 'head') on the left as you look down, assuming you're right handed. The string nearest your face (thick one) is called Bottom E. Then, in turn the strings are called A, D, G, B and finally Top E. You'll probably notice the long bit of the guitar that connects the body to the head (called the 'neck') and perhaps see that this is split along the length of the neck into little individual sections. These are called 'frets'. You've probably heard of these before. I had. They come in soon, and are rather important.
   
4. Ok, here's where your reference note comes in. This better be right or everything else will be screwed. You need to play a low E: that can be from a piano, another (tuned) guitar, a friend who can whistle with perfect pitch, or like in my case, it can be generated by clicking the appropriate button on a handy website. Play your reference note a few times, and then play your own low E string. Now, it's important here to play your low E on its own and open. That means not touching any other strings and not touching any other part of the low E string's length (with your left hand) during the strum action. Now it's a case of alternating between playing your guitar's note, playing your reference note and gradually turning the appropriate tuning peg on your guitar until both sound the same. Then we're almost done.
5. Now you just have to tune each of your other strings relative to your Low E. This is where frets begin to come in. I'll now refer you to the text from another helpful website, called howtotuneaguitar.org.

The A String

Place the first finger of your left hand just behind the fifth fret on the bottom E string. That’s an A note. Keep your finger on that fret. Now pick the fifth and six strings in turn, gently adjusting the fifth string tuning peg until the two notes are the same.

The D String

Place the first finger of your left hand just behind the fifth fret on the A string. That’s a D note. Tune the 4th string (the D note) to that.

The G String

Place the first finger of your left hand just behind the fifth fret on the D string. That’s a G note. Tune your G string to that note.

The B String

Place the first finger of your left hand just behind the forth fret (note the B string is the only one that comes from a different position the forth fret, the rest are from the 5th fret).

The E String

Place the first finger of your left hand just behind the fifth fret on the B string. That’s an E note.

And that's you, tuned up and ready to go! It's pimps isn't it?! Check out that web-site referred to above for pictures and other fun stuff.

I'd like at this stage each month to suggest some plans for what I'm aiming to achieve. I'll have to come up with an overall plan too, in order to make sure I'm not still learning chords come December, but until I get round to doing that, here are my projections for April.

1. Widely publicise the blog, in local circles, such as myspace and via email. Perhaps mention it to more people in drunken conversations. Only by doing so will I be forced to maintain a degree of motivation during the difficult, sore fingers times.
2. Come up with a name under which to release. I have three ideas so far, which are Aesop, The Meat Counter and The Pork Chop Express. I think it may be because it's near dinner time that the meat based ideas are in the ascendancy. I will post soon about my name selection process.
3. Get a myspace music account.
4. And, amidst all this rubbish admin stuff, I'm going to learn a minimum of three chords and be able to segue between them all quite smoothly. I will have a single performance of music and voice online by 1st of May. It will be a cover version though. If anyone is reading this then suggestions for my first cover are welcome. Although I'd like to do something fresh with it etc...
   

Over the course of the next few months, and certainly until I've got some self-conceived sounds and pictures for you to enjoy I'll try to drop some insights into my various influences. Today's choice is the title track from seminal John Carpenter smash, Big Trouble in Little China, featuring John himself on bass and vocals and a bizarre Adam Sandler-alike keyboard dude who looks like he's a dad who's turned up to watch his son play chess. I would rate the video as follows:

Tune: **** [This one got Chris Reeves' foot tapping]
Visuals: **** [Looks a bit dated, but didn't your heart still skip a little beat when Jack Burton makes his first appearance three quarters of the way through. Good colour effects too, not utilised nearly enough these days]
Emulation-ability: ** [too many instruments and special effects that even though they look primitive now, are almost definitely beyond my means]

Smart readers will notice that Jack Burton from Big Trouble... drives a truck called the Pork Chop Express. I don't think I'll call my band that though. Well, later!

My Experience To Date

I mentioned in my maiden post there about having been in bands before. This much is true, although you may also note that I didn't drop this in as one of the reasons why I'd be more likely to succeed. That's because although I've been in as many bands as Paul MafuckingCartney, none of my experiences enjoyed even the longevity of the frog chorus (and that's before we even discuss the artistic merits of our efforts).

Here's a run-down of my musical forays to date:

Number One:
Band Name: Untitled

The first band I was properly in lasted for around half of an afternoon in a practice pad somewhere on the south side of Glasgow (I think it was just outside Clarkston - is that Riverside perhaps). It was with my good friends Andrew Bush and David Thomson who have both gone onto subsequent local creative success with a variety of bands, including Pariah, Sky at Night and Tall Ships. I was on vocals and I'd written some very shouty shouty angsty angsty lyrics which were embarrassingly poor... They went something like this...

"Today I feel depressed, cos society's progressed
To a time and place where there's no space
For magic anymore"

Quite shit eh? Then the chorus kicked in with the refrain,

"now is the time for all young men to act"

Will I ever be that good again? It's probably no surprise that David and Andrew segued into an instrumental-only band following that.

Number Two:
Band Name: Untitled

My sophomore effort, another band that didn't last beyond point where we got a title. This was with an Icelandic dude called Nonny who I met sometime around the turn of the millenium, although I can't remember where or how (I was a little habitually tipsy in those days). We didn't even get as far as the rehearsal room this time, although the band was together a little longer. For whatever reason, Nonny, who's this great, passionate and totally enthusiastic guy thought that I was the missing piece of the jigsaw for a band he was hoping to put together in Glasgow. He needed a Bass player, and, he said, it didn't matter that I couldn't play (oh, how I protested about my inability to play) cos I had the right look and stuff. He was so up for it and I was so flattered, but ultimately began to feel really bad because I knew that I was incapable of living up to his expectations. I didn't actually try to play the bass much either during this period. I mean, the vocalist thing was more my cup of tea, because it's just like talking in a funny way over the music, and you don't even have to really learn that. But I really felt for Nonny, cos he had a lot of emotional energy invested in this band that was gonna be like the new stooges/lennon/slowdive and I must say I thought if he had a band full of himself he could probably have pulled it off. And he got screwed around too, which was upsetting; some guy who he had recruited to play guitar needed a new instrument, so Nonny bought him one. It was the last he saw of him though as this asshole guy did a runner and never got back in touch. Too trusting maybe. So, eventually things fell apart a little and I didn't see Nonny around so much, as he finished at Art School and went back to Iceland. Funnily enough though I was in Reykjavik a couple of years ago and I met this guy who was similarly infectious and enthusiastic and also took to me really quickly - turns out he was Nonny's brother. And I met a friend of his called Hanna that same time, and pretty much fell in love with her over the course of a couple of days. Never saw Nonny himself, but I've subsequently noticed his face on Myspace and I must drop him a line. Iceland rocks. It might be expensive to go there kids, but think how much you're costing yourself by not going...

Number Three:
Band Name: Untitled

Noticing a trend here? That's right, another untitled band and this time not much of a story to tell. I used to go to quiz at Nice 'n' Sleazy that had a karaoke section within it, and I used to take the opportunity to dust off the old pipes from time to time. My mate Bob decided that he'd be the latest to offer me my chance at superstardom with his emerging Stooges influenced project, in conjunction with another friend called Des. I used to love hanging out in his Byres Road house smoking fags and watching the people go below. Bob was a pretty dab hand in the kitchen and used to offer me a selection of tasty foodstuffs too. I remember the first time I ever enjoyed a courgette (that's zucchini for you US based readers) was at his house. It's all about how it's cooked he said. Anyway, at some point during the two or three times I was there that we were a band he'd get the guitars and mics out and I'd just seize up, and really didn't feel comfortable singing. I'll have to remedy that soon I daresay. But I'm sure it'll be ok.

Number Four:
Band Name: Untitled during my tenure, although subsequently became 20 miles

I went to see the John Spencer Blues Explosion at the Queen Margaret Union with my friends Mark and I think possibly our then flatmate Andy, or it might have been Joe. I thought they were ok; usual expectations of the Blues Explosion are probably almost always accurate, plodding, somewhat meandering but occasionally enthralling songs boosted by the charisma of the singer. Well, afterwards we were thinking, that was a bit of fun, let's continue the evening and head to the Glasgow Garage nightspot. It was a midweek evening, there wasn't owt much more to be doing. Who should we see there though, but Judah Bauer, the often noodling guitar player from the Blues Explosion. After a while for whatever reason he approached me and started to explain that it was very important that I become his new bass player. I mean again, what is with me and bass playing? Well, Judah, I told him, I'm not actually very musical. Again, the same response, doesn't matter you're perfect for what I'm trying to put together. You can learn! Well, again I was flattered, although it seemed that Judah had perhaps had a bit to drink and I was also a little embarassed. But still he kept coming back, begging me to join his band. Not that practical I suggested to him, since I'm here and you're based in America. Not a problem, far from insurmountable reasoned Judah in response, although the precise details of his rationale were maybe lost within a somewhat sozzled mumble. Well, we eventually parted, at which point he pressed a piece of paper with an email address on it into my hand, telling me to get in touch. I actually did, and he did respond to say he remembered me, and that we had to do something but very quickly it became clear that I'd been right, and that our musical futures lay along very different paths. But I did go and see the band he wanted me for, subsequently called 20 miles, at King Tuts Wah Wah Hut. I suppose part of me wanted to know who he'd got in instead of me. Well needless to say, the new guy had more bass playing talent than me, but did he have the look. Ha!, no.

If I was a wine I'd have been made tomorrow my vintage is so bad.