Got 9 Months to Go

It's the start of April and I'm happy to say that my goals for March were pretty much realised. The key thing was to work out how to tune a guitar. By referring to a couple of web sites and my book, the complete guitar player, I was able to do so, and now I can no longer blame my axe when it all sounds shit. I can't really get the Low E correct without a reference point, but I totally get all the relative tuning stuff. Which is ace. For those of you who don't know how to do all this, and wish to learn with me, here's a short insight:

1. Firstly, get your guitar in your hands and count the strings. This tutorial requires that there are 6 (six). Some guitars have twelve I think (sometimes on two necks which is quite fetching) and banjos have five. Or four and a half maybe. But this is certainly for 6 (six) stringed guitars.
2. If you have a piano or other guitar already in tune you'll already have access to a reference note. Otherwise, do a google search for "Online Guitar Tuner" or something like that. I don't want to endorse one site over any other, but I used guitarforbeginners.com. This gives you your starting point for tuning your instrument. Like making yoghurt I don't know how to tune without a little bit of tuning already done. Leave this website running and sit somewhere where you can reach your mouse (or other pointing device) and also hear your computer's speakers. What's that, you're deaf?
   
3. So, pick up your guitar with the fat bit (the 'body') on the right and the pegs (the 'head') on the left as you look down, assuming you're right handed. The string nearest your face (thick one) is called Bottom E. Then, in turn the strings are called A, D, G, B and finally Top E. You'll probably notice the long bit of the guitar that connects the body to the head (called the 'neck') and perhaps see that this is split along the length of the neck into little individual sections. These are called 'frets'. You've probably heard of these before. I had. They come in soon, and are rather important.
   
4. Ok, here's where your reference note comes in. This better be right or everything else will be screwed. You need to play a low E: that can be from a piano, another (tuned) guitar, a friend who can whistle with perfect pitch, or like in my case, it can be generated by clicking the appropriate button on a handy website. Play your reference note a few times, and then play your own low E string. Now, it's important here to play your low E on its own and open. That means not touching any other strings and not touching any other part of the low E string's length (with your left hand) during the strum action. Now it's a case of alternating between playing your guitar's note, playing your reference note and gradually turning the appropriate tuning peg on your guitar until both sound the same. Then we're almost done.
5. Now you just have to tune each of your other strings relative to your Low E. This is where frets begin to come in. I'll now refer you to the text from another helpful website, called howtotuneaguitar.org.

The A String

Place the first finger of your left hand just behind the fifth fret on the bottom E string. That’s an A note. Keep your finger on that fret. Now pick the fifth and six strings in turn, gently adjusting the fifth string tuning peg until the two notes are the same.

The D String

Place the first finger of your left hand just behind the fifth fret on the A string. That’s a D note. Tune the 4th string (the D note) to that.

The G String

Place the first finger of your left hand just behind the fifth fret on the D string. That’s a G note. Tune your G string to that note.

The B String

Place the first finger of your left hand just behind the forth fret (note the B string is the only one that comes from a different position the forth fret, the rest are from the 5th fret).

The E String

Place the first finger of your left hand just behind the fifth fret on the B string. That’s an E note.

And that's you, tuned up and ready to go! It's pimps isn't it?! Check out that web-site referred to above for pictures and other fun stuff.

I'd like at this stage each month to suggest some plans for what I'm aiming to achieve. I'll have to come up with an overall plan too, in order to make sure I'm not still learning chords come December, but until I get round to doing that, here are my projections for April.

1. Widely publicise the blog, in local circles, such as myspace and via email. Perhaps mention it to more people in drunken conversations. Only by doing so will I be forced to maintain a degree of motivation during the difficult, sore fingers times.
2. Come up with a name under which to release. I have three ideas so far, which are Aesop, The Meat Counter and The Pork Chop Express. I think it may be because it's near dinner time that the meat based ideas are in the ascendancy. I will post soon about my name selection process.
3. Get a myspace music account.
4. And, amidst all this rubbish admin stuff, I'm going to learn a minimum of three chords and be able to segue between them all quite smoothly. I will have a single performance of music and voice online by 1st of May. It will be a cover version though. If anyone is reading this then suggestions for my first cover are welcome. Although I'd like to do something fresh with it etc...
   

Over the course of the next few months, and certainly until I've got some self-conceived sounds and pictures for you to enjoy I'll try to drop some insights into my various influences. Today's choice is the title track from seminal John Carpenter smash, Big Trouble in Little China, featuring John himself on bass and vocals and a bizarre Adam Sandler-alike keyboard dude who looks like he's a dad who's turned up to watch his son play chess. I would rate the video as follows:

Tune: **** [This one got Chris Reeves' foot tapping]
Visuals: **** [Looks a bit dated, but didn't your heart still skip a little beat when Jack Burton makes his first appearance three quarters of the way through. Good colour effects too, not utilised nearly enough these days]
Emulation-ability: ** [too many instruments and special effects that even though they look primitive now, are almost definitely beyond my means]

Smart readers will notice that Jack Burton from Big Trouble... drives a truck called the Pork Chop Express. I don't think I'll call my band that though. Well, later!